Alright, Valentine’s Day is here again. let’s cut right to the
Chase and avoid the various
Damage controls we all have
Been trying to make out of this
First, this isn’t year 2000, so
We can do well by cutting the
Crap on the Jesus-album video
I’ve been seeing about some folks
Singing “valentine is coming, all
You need is Jesus“.
Bloody Christ, these are the same
Girls that’ll start crying in two years
Time about how they’ve not been
Able to find any guy to love them
Despite how fervent they’ve been
Serving the Lord.
Oh well, you joyfully sang that
You don’t need a boyfriend: so
Just pick up your cross and get
Married to Jesus.
Nonsense and confusion.
Now to the few others arguing about
The usefulness or non usefulness of
The Valentine Day 2020, you’ve got
To agree with your thinking faculty
About certain realities.
SEE ALSO – 10 ways and Signs To know if a Girl likes you.
Firstly, whether there was once
A St Valentine or not who (maybe)
Donated his kidney to the poor and
Gave his life to the less privileged,
It’ll be totally insane to ask anyone
To do likewise.
This is the fucking 21st century;
And not just that, unless you’re
Educating the millennial about
The history of the dude and how
The day came to be, no one gives
A fuck about what you think they
Should do with their Valentine.
What is the real story of Valentine’s Day?
Because, all fingers aren’t equal:
The level with which one person
Can’t afford a bra or shoe for his
Bae or boo is the same level with
Which another will buy a freaking
Lamborghini as a gift for his or her
And we all know that in the
Era we’re in, it’s the guys that
Do most of the buying, while
The girls devote their hearts
To “awwwn”ing up and down
On all those gifts-buying and
Which are just one hell
Of a show off to their
Secondly, Valentine’s day has
Been greatly commercialized,
Just like every other public and
Ceremonial event – like Christmas.
Just that aside the red roses and
Clothes we get out of the day, we
Also can’t overlook the commercial
Value of the sex that cums with such
Days as this February 14, and all the
Different flavors of condoms that’ll
Be sold world-wide.
So, that leaves us with just one
Last option: that we fuck our way
Into February 15, like we’ve never
Had sex before during the Detty
How You Can Spend The Valentine’s Day
And it feels funny to say, because
The ones who thought they had a
Girlfriend or boyfriend will begin to
Know whether they belong to Sim
One or Sim Two.
While the some-others will be
On either a Day Plan, or Night
Plan: spending the day with
Cristiano, and exhausting the
Night on Ronaldo.
Such players are the real GOAT!
And to those who don’t even
Have the opportunity of using
Their condoms because of
How barren their singlehood
Is, well, what do I have to say?
See you next year baby!
Coz while you’re brooding on
Your inability to do anything
Dirty with anyone, some will
Be having headaches and lots
Of babies around this period